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Hey There!

Welcome to The Femme and Fierce Blog. I'm so excited you've found your way here! This blog is all the Mindset + Adversity behind success.

Stay connected as I share powerful tips and inspiring stories from successful leaders on the power of one's MIND(SET).

Tonya xx


Break Free from the COMPARISON Game

Break Free from the COMPARISON Game

Oh, the comparison game, it can be deadly can't it?

Let's be honest, we've all had moments of comparing our overall lives, our success, our relationships, our finances, our bodies, our looks- I could go on for dayysss, but you get the point, we've all been there before. 

Truthfully, it probably won't be the last either, but if you follow the 4 simple steps below, my hopes are that you'll be able to catch yourself before you're ready to throw in the towel and call er a day. (let's be honest, who's got time for that?!)
 

The next time you go into major comparison mode, and get down on yourself, do this:
 

  1. ACKNOWLEDGE IT, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE, AND LET IT GO.

    The more self- aware you can become, the better. Notice what triggers you to feel that way? Notice what you're judging yourself for.

    Were you scrolling on social media, were you tired, was it something someone said?
    Once you notice a pattern, learn to limit yourself from it. If it's social media, limit the time you spend on it. Setting boundaries and protecting your energy is so important.

  2. TURN JEALOUSY INTO INSPIRATION.

    Jealousy and comparison can actually be A GOOD THING. Sounds a little crazy right? But truthfully, if you dig a littler deeper and ASK YOURSELF "where is this coming from?", you'll find some insight.

    Perhaps you're comparing your life to hers because deep down you want the lifestyle she has, or the level of success she's achieved. That's not necessarily a bad thing, if you choose to flip it and use it as INSPIRATION. Thank her for paving the road for you and showing you it's possible (not literally, unless you feel called to, then do it!)

    Be honest with yourself, have you been making up excuses as to why you can't be, do, or have that thing you're judging yourself for?

    Use it as a sign, that because the person has done it, or has it, you can too, if of course, that's what your soul is calling for.

    Maybe you're jealous of her abs, know they are possible for you, stop wasting your time comparing and go work for them.
    Maybe, you're jealous of her first place finish, know that it's possible for you, stop wasting your time comparing and go after it.
    Maybe, you're jealous of the lifestyle she has, know it's possible for you, stop wasting your time comparing and go find a way to make it happen for yourself.

    As you can see, good things can come from comparison, if you choose to face your fears and see it as an opportunity for growth. We're all in this together, there's no need to put ourselves or anyone else down. Let's aim to build one another up- including ourselves!

  3. SHOW SELF COMPASSION (AND GRATITUDE).

    Remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for in this moment. A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles. Life is not a competition, you're only focus should be to be better than you were yesterday. So maybe you're not THERE yet, but damn you've accomplished, and overcome a lot - don't discount that.

    Let's be honest, if we all had the same success stories, same abs, same achievements, same looks... life would be pretty damn boring, and when we accomplished our goals, it wouldn't feel very special, would it? Keep that in mind the next time you feel like you're 'behind'.

    P.S you're probably comparing your journey to their destination, which isn't fair to yourself.

  4. TAKE INSPIRED ACTION!

    Now that you've figured out what it is that you desire to have in your own life, you need to take action! Stay true to your own vision.

    What are 3 things you can go do now to either ground yourself, connect back to your own vision, or get one step closer to achieving your desires?

    Taking inspired action is the key to success.

 

RECAP: 

The more self aware you become, the faster you can snap out of it. Life is not a competition, show yourself some love and explore the inspiration hidden in the subtle messages of comparison. 
 

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Love and Light, 

Tonya



Remember, anything is possible + no dream is too big.

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